It's a Honey Boo Boo Holla-Ween!

That wasn’t the great pumpkin gracing your television sets last night, it was just Uncle Poodle stuck inside of one! Mama June and the HBB gang are back with a series of “holladay” specials that I, personally, can’t get enough of!  

In this episode, we see what Halloween is like with the beloved redneck family. And, it’s all that you’d imagine it to be! The episode kicks off with an epic Kate Gosselin style trip to the pumpkin patch. The kids, including sugar bear, opted to ride through the property in the cow pull (a train like contraption in which barrels are painted like cows, made into cars, and pulled behind a tractor that might have been on loan from Rolloff farms!), while Mama felt it best to ride in the tractor with the owner of the farm and baby Kaitlyn.  A wise choice Mama J! Upon arrival in the patch, the HBB crew descends into the field like only Linus could. They immediately find the most grotesque of pumpkins and compare it to Mama. Aren’t they sweet? Once they settled on the largest pumpkin possible, the clan played a game of dodge ball. I use the term dodge ball loosely because in reality, it was really just a game of beat Mama with balls. Something Sugar Bear is ALWAYS down for!  She get’s SUPER upset, and I’m pretty sure her neck actually turned red…how fitting!

 Following the pumpkin patch adventure, Mama decides that she needs a bit of pampering. So she decided to spend a little money, and get her weave did. By that I mean, she bought some boxed hair color and let the girls dye her hair. Punkin’ thinks the smell is awful, and the other girls agree. Upon drying, the beautimous Mama June is a blonde bombshell! I also must note that Suggie is beyond turned on by this. And with that, I present to you my favorite Sugar Bear quotes of the night.

1. “You can call me horny bear!”
2. “I’m hungry for a biscuit with syrup” – For those unfamiliar, this isn’t your run of the mill extra flaky Pillsbury biscuit. It’s much naughtier!
3. “I’ll scrape that crust off!” – In reference to June telling him that the biscuit is burnt.

Now that Mama is a new woman and Sugar Bear’s cub is back in hibernation mode, it’s time to carve the pumpkins. Of course this is an event, and baby Kaitlyn is the innocent victim in the war of the pumpkin guts. The girls are the stars of the show, until the ultimate diva arrives. Cue Uncle Poodle! Poodle hustles his way into the chaos and ends up with a large pumpkin stuck on his head. Part of me wants to say that this might not be the first time something like this has happened to him! In true HBB style, the family abandons Pood’s on the porch and leaves him to fend for himself. In their defense, there was probably sketti inside that needed to be eaten.

The next adventure we set out on is a trip to the corn maze. Am I the only one who would die for the chance to roam a corn field with these people? Can you imagine what a good time that would be? Insane! There’s a zip line involved, and it’s an all around good time for all. Following this, we arrive at the costume shop to scope out Halloween costumes. HBB is in desperate need of a blue wig, and the costume shop attendant is dressed like Pinocchio. These are the kinds of details that make my life worth living! I love it when I go to a business, and the employees are in costume. If I walk into the bank and the teller is dressed like Snow White, I’m going to like her ten times more than if she was dressed in ordinary teller garb. Wouldn’t you?  The clan models a variety of costumes for us here, and I loved every minute of it. It was like a redneck version of “Project Runway”.  The costume choices are left a mystery until the big reveal on Halloween night.

Now, somewhere between the scenes at the costume shop and home, Punkin’ pokes her eye out. I’m not even going to attempt to explain what happened here, because I looked away to tweet for a few minutes, and when I looked back up she had a patch on and was lying in bed. So, if you know what went happened to Punks please explain it to me in the comments section.

Finally, Halloween arrives. We have Chubs and whatever the teen mom goes by as ketchup and mustard bottles, and baby Kaitlyn is going as a hot dog. Can I just take a moment here to explain to you all my hatred for infant trick or treaters? I don’t understand it whatsoever! Your child has no teeth and can’t eat solid foods. We all know the candy is for you! You’re fooling no one, okay? Every year without fail, there’s that lady who comes to the door with her 3 month old dressed like some form of farm animal and I immediately turn the lights out and pretend I’m not home. Just putting that out there! Don’t come to my house with your baby! Moving on, we have HBB as the most glitzy vampire this side of Forks, followed by Sugar Bear who is going as a bear. HBB takes his costume over the top by getting him a pound of sugar to carry around. Perfect! Last but not least, the beautimous Mama June reveals the costume that an overly turned on Sugar Bear ordered for her (among other things I’m sure!) online. She’s Marilyn Monroe! Unfortunately, the girls inform Mama that her multiple skin tones make her look like Neapolitan ice cream and she quickly transforms into a mummy.

So, there you have it. A Honey Boo Boo Halloween! An instant holiday classic that I’m sure I’ll watch multiple times over. Next week we set sail on the mayflower as the HBB crew presents to us the story of Thanksgiving. Here’s hoping it’s full of sketti and mayonnaise!