Hannah Grades 'The Bachelor' Season Premiere!

I have decided to watch this season of The Bachelor, and what better way to kick off the season than to live blog it as I watch?  Here it goes!

The Previews and Pre-Meetings—

I don’t really mind Sean, but these previews are making me feel like I’ll absolutely hate this season.  Also, why are his arm muscles the size of my entire body?  I’m giving (5 points) for Sean’s green v-neck, but (-5 points) for the random shot of the wedding couple on the beach

Oh wow, here is Arie.  I should have expected this, seeing as how I thought he would be the Bachelor and not Sean.  Sean is better on all accounts, so I will give ABC props for this. (2 points)  Sean acting out his break-ups with girls and giving out roses earns a solid (3 points)..  WHAT.  Arie is now giving Sean kissing advice and it is corny and awkward so (-6 points)  For once, I am not tempted to fast forward through this entire part, so I’ll give (2 points) for this pre-meeting part of the show.  I really love that we don’t have to see Chris and Sean talking for 20 minutes!!!! THANK YOU, ABC!

Current total: 1 point

The Meetings—

First up, we get previews of the women.  Desiree is a bridal stylist and seems nice/normal.  Maybe this is just my love for Say Yes to the Dress showing.  Wow, this next girl, Tierra, is OBSESSED with Sean. I cannot wait to see this first meeting, so much that I’m giving it (2 points).  Robyn seems like an easy first boot, and I have to (-5 points) for her not liking engineers.  Ashley P. is pretty crazy but she likes cats!! (2 points) but she also likes Fifty Shades of Grey so I have to (-4 points) there.  AshLee is a professional organizer. I LOVE HER.  (10 points) for her organizing her closet like the rainbow, because I do too!  Favorite so far!

Time for the meetings, the best part of the whole season!  My girl AshLee is up first.  Sean looks happy with this encounter so (5 points) for Sean liking my girl.  Next, (-3 points) for this next girl kissing him on the cheek because that’s so corny, and (4 points) for the girl after her wiping off the kiss! HAHA!! Winner!!! Lesley says “Holy Toledo” to which I say “Holy crap that’s in Ohio!” so (2 points for you)!  Kelly wrote a song for Sean and I actually hate when people do this. (-5 points)  Oh my Ashley P. is cray cray!  Making references to 50 shades already and Sean looks either weirded out or extremely interested.  Robyn tries to do backflips to Sean and failed miserably halfway through.  Major props though for completing one backflip while wearing a dress so (1 point) for her.  Paige is here.  Apparently she was on Bachelor Pad 3.  I don’t remember her at all.. And now Tierra is up and said “I love you” within the first five seconds.  Sean makes a dramatic exit from their meeting in the midst of her staring at him lovingly.  Oh no, are Tierra’s hopes and dreams crashing ALREADY?  What a terrible plotline!

Never fear though! This IS The Bachelor!  Sean returns with a rose!  Tierra nearly passes out, but (-6 points) here because it seems so set up.  Amanda wants to get the awkward pause part of the relationship out of the way.  What a fabulous first meeting filled with awkward silence.  I actually love this so I’m giving it (1 point).  Desiree is up!  I LOVE her dress. She leads him to the wishing well and they make wishes.  She is so great. (2 points)  Lesley uses football as an excuse to “run a play” which essentially turns into nothing but her yelling plays while “admiring him” AKA staring at his butt. Hilarious! (3 points) for you, Lesley!  The next girl delivers a message from her dad: “My dad said if you break my heart, he’s going to break.. your legs.” LOL!!! (1 point)  Oh wow, a girl kisses him and wears a wedding dress… can we say 50 Shades of Cray? (-4 points)

We think we have seen all of the girls, but alas, we have not.  There is one mystery girl.  It’s Kacie B!  She seems like a good pairing for Sean, actually.  Corny + corny = I’m not sure, but I’m guessing we’ll find out.  I’m so opposed to people from past seasons getting brought back on any show, so (-4 points) to ABC for pulling this move.

Points for this round: 2 points
Current total points:  3 points

The Night/Sean getting to know the girls—

Sean is handing out roses as he talks to the girls.  This is semi-interesting, but what fun is the rose ceremony going to be if he keeps handing out all of these roses?  Is this going to be a recurring thing throughout the season? (-3 points) because I don’t like this!  My girl AshLee the organizer gets the third rose of the night. Way to go, Sean! (4 points) because I like the girls he’s giving these roses too.  It must feel terrible to talk to him and not get a rose though!  Crazy cat lady AKA 50 Shades of Grey lover is D-R-U-N-K.  As Sean says, “that girl is a trip!” He just called her “50 Shades of Drunk” so I’m giving (-1 point) for this very uncreative nickname!

Oh wait, this girl just said “I don’t fight over a guy!” I think she is unaware of the fact that she is on THE BACHELOR with 25 other women going after the same guy? (-2 points) for this girl!  Sarah is beautiful!  She is so giddy over getting a rose! “There’s not a single thorn on it!  These are the most perfect roses ever!”(3 points) 

Points for this round: 1 point

Current total points: 4 points

The Rose Ceremony—

I think I will only be surprised if Wedding dress girl or Kacie B. get cut, because there seems to be good storylines with those two.  Okay, Kacie B. is safe.  Surprise!  Last rose goes to Wedding Dress Girl!  WOW I am actually so great at calling these things.  Crazy cat lady is out!  Oh and a bunch of people they never showed. (-5 points) for the predictability here, but never fear!  (3 points) for all the girls who cried after knowing Sean for less than one night!

Points for this round: -2 points

Current total points: 2 points

Previews for the entire season—

Some girl’s boyfriend shows up and almost fights Sean? (2 points)!  Tierra looks CRAZY! (2 points)!  Some girl gets hurt but I’m not sure who? (-1 point) Looks like there is some fun in store for this season!

Points for this round: 3 points

Overall total points: 5 points (I'm going to say this is equivalent to a C+ on the grading scale!)