Throwback Thursday: The Assistant

I have to admit, I don’t watch much ‘Dancing with the Stars,’ but when the newest season premiered on Monday, I thought I’d give it a shot.  After all, I do like Sean Lowe.  When the cast was announced at the start of the episode, I saw that THE Andy Dick was a part of the cast!  I automatically had flashbacks to one of my FAVORITE reality shows EVER, which promptly led to me deciding “This NEEDS to be TBT’ed!”  (Side note:  I can’t remember if this was the exact thought, but it seemed more dramatic this way.)  So, I’m now bringing you a Throwback Thursday post about ‘The Assistant” which was (without a doubt) the best reality show to ever come from MTV. (Another side note:  Thinking about it, I watched this show at age 12.  If you watch this show, I'm not quite sure how I was ever allowed to watch this show at age 12, but I am so glad I did!)

Andy handing out roses at the Bachelor
themed elimination.

First off, if you haven’t seen this BRILLIANT piece of television, I actually DEMAND you to watch the whole season HERE before reading any further.  (Note: C’mon.  It’s only eight 20-minute episodes.  You were even spared of the commercials!)  I actually spent one night this week rewatching the show to be better prepared for this post, so, it’s possible.

If you are still not yet convinced enough to give the show your time and effort, this clip of highlights might just do the job:

Next, since I’m assuming that you ignored my demand and video, you may have some questions about this show.  So, I’m taking on the job of reading your mind and answering these questions.  (Hopefully my answers will inspire you to go HERE and watch the show.)

How did The Assistant work?

(parody of The Apprentice)

This show took place back in 2004 at the height of the reality television era.  Comedian Andy Dick decided that he wanted his own reality show, so he decided to go on the hunt for an assistant.  Hence: The Assistant.  (The name of the show.  Are you even paying attention?)  So, twelve kids (or more accurately, peppy college-aged adults) who wanted to break into the business of Hollywood were brought to Andy Dick’s mansion to compete for the title of The Assistant.   The winner of this show got some pretty lame prizes, but maybe that’s just #HannahFromTheFuture talking.  The prize of the show was a new cell phone package, a new wardrobe from American Eagle Outfitters, some car, and an entry level job at MTV.  These contestants had to perform some of the dumbest tasks ever and if they failed, they were “SNIP SNIP SNIP …CLIPPED!”  (If you ignored my demand, then I bet you didn’t find this funny.)

Who Wants to be Andy's Assistant?
(parody of Who Wants to be a Millionaire?)

Why was The Assistant so amazing?

What made this show so great was not the competition.  It was actually the fact that this show was basically 100% satirical.  This show basically made fun of the majority of the reality shows that were around at the time.  And to expand further on that, Andy Dick is why this show was so great.  I know that most people find him to be a hit or a miss/ aka they either love him or hate him.  But I honestly don’t see how anyone could dislike him on The Assistant.  He made fun of how overly dramatic and set-up reality shows could be.  Each episode’s elimination parodied another reality show, which is, at least in my opinion, every reality show fanatic’s dream scenario.

Andy's Assistant
(parody of American Idol)

(Note:  While the show itself was meant to be a joke, the contestants were actually real and competing to win.  These people all DID want to be in the business of Hollywood.)

What were some amazing moments from The Assistant?

I was afraid you’d never ask!  First, the contestants stayed at Andy’s house, but they had to sleep on cots in his garage.  They were awoken every morning with a red-flashing siren where they would have to race up to Andy’s room in the house to receive their task for the day. 

America's Next Top Assistant?
(parody of America's Next Top Model)

Andy was having a terrible day.  The contestants were told it was Andy’s birthday that day and were given the task of throwing him a surprise birthday party.  Each contestant, or pair of contestants, was given a special task in order to make the party possible.  So, the one contestant completed her task of getting Andy to the party (after convincing him that he should come out of his room and that he always looked wonderful) and people were asking birthday-related questions and Andy shouted “IT’S NOT MY BIRTHDAY!!” It actually turned out that it wasn’t his birthday.  The butler, who gave the task, had misheard Andy and had thought it was his birthday that day, when it was actually another Andy’s birthday. 

Contestant Stefani looked suspiciously
like Christina Aguilera

Then, on one episode, Andy was sick.  “COLIN!  BARF BUCKET!”  He gave the remaining contestants different tasks that he would have otherwise had to do on his own.  These tasks included getting him one of those stars on the Walk of Fame, breaking up with his clingy girlfriend, and pretending to be him for an interview amongst other things.

Once Dave Navarro came over to the house for a day, and when he left, he gave the final three contestants some presents, including his guitars that he had with him.  Andy Dick was OUTRAGED by this, which led to the hilarious moment of him smashing one of the guitars.

(Fun Fact:  Andy Dick actually ended up dating one of the contestants, Sarah.  Sadly, this relationship did not last.  I also believe that when the relationship ended, some sort of lawsuit happened regarding prohibited relationships with contestants.  Sad.) 

What reality television shows did The Assistant make reference to?

(parody of Fear Factor)

It just so happens that I have made a list!  The Assistant made reference to, in order:  The Bachelor, Who Wants to be a Millionaire, The Littlest Groom, America’s Next Top Model, Survivor, The Apprentice, Meet My Folks (Side note: This was a momentous flashback!  I had almost forgotten about that one!), The Celebrity Mole, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, American Idol, Fear Factor, and Flavor of Love.

Did the contestants go on to be successful in Hollywood?

Melissa Ordway won the title of The Assistant, and also the
title of being the most successful contestant post-show.

Actually, one did!  Melissa Ordway still has some mild success.  She has been in movies such as 17 Again, The Last Song, and Ted.  She has been on shows such as How I Met Your Mother, Privileged, Hollywood Heights, Entourage, and The Young and Restless.  She is also, on some level, friends with Miley Cyrus.  Melissa even married Justin Gaston, which if you remember, first became popular for dating Miley!

I don’t actually know if others from the show have gone on to have much success.  I will say though that Mykell from the show went on to have some success in the dancing world and his Youtube channel has over 100,000 views.

A list of the contestants on Twitter:

(parody of Meet My Folks)

Melissa Ordway: @MelissaOrdway
Stefani Fischer, aka Christina Aguilera, aka I think this is her: @Lady_Luck13
(If this is not her, then she was obviously an undercover Christina.)

Anna Enger: @AnnEnger

Colin Blake, 99.9% sure this is him: @colinbsonnier

Mykell Wilson: @saekell

Nikeda Stanback: @Polearina84

..and of course, Andy Dick: @andydick

Obviously I couldn’t find them all, which was somewhat depressing, but something cool happened when I followed the ones I could find (so that I didn’t forget them by the time that I wrote this post.)

Lastly, amazing quotes from the show included:

"Thank God they got hot chicks on my show." –Andy 

"Tanika comes bounding out of the limosine like a cheerleader on crack cocaine with a whole package of firecrackers up her cranny."  -Andy 

"Is this what the whole show is going to be like because I thought this was going to be fun..."  -Andy 

“I'd really like to eliminate everybody right now, but then I wouldn't have a show."  -Andy 

Andy snuffing out one of the contestants
during his parody of Survivor.

“You LOSE!” –Andy, channeling his inner Willy Wonka 

“Are you the Celebrity Mole?” -Andy 

"This reality show is ruining MY LIFE!!" -Andy

Well, that wraps up this TBT!  Until next week... (or the next week after that...)

Throwback WEDNESDAY: Hogan Knows Best

Once upon a time, not so long ago, in a far away land there lived a happy family of four. Terry and Linda, and their two children Brooke and Nick, better known as the Hogan’s of WWE fame, had a little show on Vh1 called “Hogan Knows Best”. If you weren't tuning into this show, I feel bad for you.

The show followed the family and their various antics - Nick’s amateur racing, Linda’s domestic activities, Brooke’s singing, and Hulk’s “career”. It was your run of the mill of famous family show. Ala the Kardashian’s! (Fun Fact: Spell check just suggested that I change Kardashians to guardianship!) Except some of the personalities were better!

The show followed the family on vacations, trips to the grocery store, first dates, and work trips. You know, all the things that I LOVE watching famous people do!

Memorable Episodes:

The Hogans - Brooke, Terry/Hulk, Linda, Nick

Father’s day – The family picks of Terry’s mom at her retirement home, and goes out for a classy lunch at Hooter’s. The mom HATES Linda, and yells at her constantly. It’s quite hysterical! They then go shopping, because Grandma Hogan needs a few new bras! She also bought Terri about 50 cans of peanuts…I’ll let you judge her mental state for yourself.

Amusement Park – The family goes to six flags, but they want to enjoy the day. They don’t want the perks of being famous, or being mobbed at every turn. So, what do they decide to do? Call a make-up artist and get some prosthetics done of course! Wouldn't you? The family heads to the park completely disguised, but quickly realizes that they miss some of the perks of being themselves. So, they shed the masks!

All in all, the Hogan’s were just one big happy family!

Towards the end of the show, the Hogan’s moved to Florida. Here they entertained some Jewish neighbors with a kosher cook-out, and decided TO GET DIVORCED. I was outraged when this took place. Clearly, the show ended because of this development. Linda accused Terry of cheating, Terry accused Linda of lying, Linda started dating a guy who went to school with Brooke, Brooke stopped talking to Linda, Nick went to prison for crashing his car during a race and paralyzing his friend, things were a mess!

Brooke Knows Best aired for 2 seasons on Vh1

Luckily, all was caught by the cameras, because Brooke got a spin-off called “Brooke Knows Best” which followed the lives of Brooke and her two friends as the moved into an apartment on the beach. During the course of this show, Terry got remarried (to a woman who some say looks like Brooke! #Creepy), and Nick was released from prison. The show continued to follow Brooke’s singing aspirations, and her dating and social life. It also explored her tarnished relationship with Linda. This included several angry/dramatic phone calls, and one boat ride past their old house where Linda was living. There were tears!

Recently, Linda has begun appearing in music videos playing the role of a “MILF”. And, Hulk has a pending lawsuit against the maker of a sex tape featuring him that was recently released.

So, things didn’t end well for these guys. But, I can’t say that I wouldn’t still watch this show if it was on today! Can you imagine if some of these things had been captured by the cameras?

I recently found out that the shows were “soft-scripted”. This means that the producers gave the talent plot lines and had them “improvise”. This sort of makes me sad, but also makes me want a show like this myself! #Goals

Brooke's best known track! Fun Fact: I purchased this after hearing it on the show...It's still on my iPod today! #NoShame 

Throwback Thursday: Dog Eat Dog

For this week’s Throwback Thursday, I’m going to reminisce on a show that aired on NBC for a year and continues to live on through reruns on the Game Show Network!  What glorious show am I referring to, you wonder?  If your guess was ‘Dog Eat Dog,’ then you, my friends, are correct! 

The process of each Dog Eat Dog episode:

1. First, there would be a random assortment of 6 contestants.  Usually it’d be 3 male, 3 female, but I’m sure there was some variation.  I’m also pretty positive that before the show, these people would go to a short camp of sorts where they’d meet one another and do some training.
2. Then, you’d move on to the actual show.  Each contestant would be placed at a different podium where they’d write the person’s name down that they wanted out of the competition.  Majority ruled with the vote and the person with the most votes would be sent into a challenge.
3. Then, the person with the most votes would compete in a random challenge.  (You can check out a list of the different challenges from the show HERE on the Dog Eat Dog Wikipedia, with descriptions.)  If they lost the challenge, they would be sent to the “Dog Pound.”  But, if they won the challenge, they would get to pick another contestant to send to the dog pound.
4. Steps 2-3 would be repeated until it got narrowed down to the final 2.  The final two would compete in what’s usually a challenge of bigger proportions.  The loser of that challenge would be the fifth and final member of the Dog Pound, and the winner would be the “Top Dog."
5. The Top Dog would then be given a topic such as “Sports” or “Entertainment”, etc. and they would have to pick someone from the Dog Pound to answer the question about that category.  If the person go the question right, it’d be a point for the dog pound.  If the person answered incorrectly, it’d be a point for the top dog.  Each member of the dog pound could only be picked once, so the first side to get 3 points would win the $25,000 prize.  So, if the top dog won, they’d get $25,000.  And if the dog pound won, each member would get $5,000.  (I did the necessary math for everyone.  You’re welcome.)

       What did I love about Dog Eat Dog?

1.  The challenge called “He or She?” where they would bring out a group of, say, 8 “guys” where only one was actually a guy, and the person had to guess who they thought was the actual guy in the group.  Don’t ask me why I found this challenge so incredibly fun as 10-11 year old, I just did.  (Note:  I actually saw one of those episodes with this challenge in the past year or so, and I still didn’t guess the right person!  And I had even seen the same episode before!)
2. The treadmill challenge where the contestant would be suspended by a bungee cord on a treadmill that was hanging in the air.  They’d start out walking on the treadmill where they’d be asked a series of trivia questions.  Each time they answered incorrectly, the treadmill would move faster.  They’d have a certain amount of time and if they were still on the treadmill at the end of that time, they’d succeed at the challenge.  Most of the time, the people fell off and I always loved to see them go flying.  (Obviously they were okay, but like, this makes me feel like I was such a violent child!  I really wasn’t!)
3. There was this challenge where they brought on this speedreader woman who read a story at a lightning pace.  Then after she finished reading, the contestant would be asked questions about the story and if they didn’t get enough of the answers right, they’d lose the challenge.  I like, vividly remember this one.
4. Basically all of the challenges!  And the drama!  For these people barely knowing each other, they would get all feisty with one another for voting them into the challenges.  It was great TV.

An interesting fact about Dog Eat Dog:

There was actually a contestant on the show who got injured pretty badly during a water challenge and had to be put in the hospital.  From my memory, I believe that the person suffered a brain injury and still had problems long after they had recovered from the injury.  I feel like there was an interview of this somewhere.   This person went on to sue NBC and I’m pretty sure that that’s a lot of the reason why this show didn’t last longer than it did (2 seasons,) because it was truly an amazing show.

From, RealityNewsOnline.com:

"Darin Goka was a contestant on Dog Eat Dog and during a stunt where they had to remain underwater, the mechanism that was to catapult him out of the water failed.  NBC won't honor his request for the raw footage so to this day, he had no idea of how long he was deprived of oxygen.  His lawyer, Artmen Tashjian, and his girlfriend, Gloria Giacomoni, speak about how he is still physically devastated.  The stunt was performed in August of 2002 and over a year later he is still not recovered.  He suffers from memory impairment, a decline in intellectual abilities, and severe levels of depressive symptoms.  His girlfriend said he used to be so happy and has never been the same since.  NBC calls the lawsuit without merit.  There was a clause in the contract that all contestants sign waiving the right to hold the network responsible for any injury, including death.

Law suits and everything aside, I loved this show!  If you remember this show, tell me whether you loved or hated it in the comment section below!

Hannah recaps the FINALE of 'King of the Nerds!'

It’s the finale episode of King of the Nerds and we’re down to the final four:  Celeste, Ivan, Danielle, and Genevieve!  (Note:  I place them in that order, because that’s my dream winner-to-loser order.)  First off,  I just want to express how much I loved this first season!  The cast was obviously brilliant, and even the nerds who I didn’t like at the beginning, like Virgil, Alana, and Danielle, really grew on me over the course of the show.  In the end, I don’t think I’d be unhappy with any of these final four winning.  So, to whoever did the casting, I give you a huge round of applause. This show was the highlight of my Thursday night TV watching, so I’m really going to miss it and all of its hilarious moments and quotes.

The episode starts off, as always, with the winner of the previous nerd off (in this case, Genevieve) talking about her win and celebrating the fact that she is still there.  In this final four, it’s cool to see that Celeste is the only one of the four who never had to go into a nerd off.  While Ivan, Celeste, and Genevieve celebrate making the final four, Danielle is saying she won’t count her chickens before they hatch and therefore doesn’t want to celebrate.  Ivan, the dragon, is ready to bring fire!  Then there’s a minute of pure brilliance as Ivan goes outside Nerdvana to stargaze and talk to himself.  He quotes a whole bunch of things that sound like they’re straight out of some princess fairy tale.  Meanwhile, Celeste and Genevieve remain somewhat distant where Genevieve threw her under the bus in the last episode.  The whole situation seems to have benefited Celeste though, as she seems much more determined to win now.

It was absolutely necessary for me to do this.. okay?

The final four exit Nerdvana and the two hosts are riding Segways towards them.  For some reason, the hosts refer to the Segways as “nerd movers,” which I guess they are, but why not just call them Segways?  For the first phase of the final nerd war, the four will race Segways through a “Maze of Terror” and whoever finishes in last place will be out of the competition in fourth place.  It seems like a game of luck mixed with a  game of skill.  The four get some time to practice with cones and whatnot, but they can’t see the maze until the competition starts.  Some funny things that happened during the practice include Ivan falling off of his Segway and it running off from him.  Also, Genevieve and Ivan had a head on collision at one point!  This competition looks so fun!

“What if I die in the maze of terror?  What if I die?” –Celeste

Now, it’s time for phase one to take place and we’re introduced to the Maze of Terror!  It turns out to not be that “terrorable” (I hope you enjoy this pun as much as I do) after all!  The Segways are all decorated according to who is driving them, for example, Celeste’s has a rubix cube on the front and Ivan’s, of course, has a dragon. 

“Gentlenerds!  Start your engines!”

There are several dead ends in the maze and only one way to get through it.  At the beginning, Ivan takes a huge lead, but then he hit a dead end sending him back to the very beginning of the maze.  Somehow though, Celeste is in last place and needs to pass someone or she’ll be out!  For some reason, Ivan stops.  (Maybe to study the maze to see that he was going the right way?) Celeste is able to pass him, putting Ivan in last.

“I’m not going to go home over a Segway race.” –Ivan

Then Ivan wrecks, but it doesn’t seem to matter because it’s pretty much over at that point.  Danielle finishes in first, Genevieve second, and Celeste third.  So, Ivan WILL be going home over a Segway race, which is actually disappointing because I was rooting for him to make the final two.  Ivan is bummed over his loss, as you would expect, but his exit was truly hilarious as he rode off on his Segway.

Ivan is the first eliminated from the finale
and finishes in fourth place!

The girls all have a short celebration of making the final three.  Danielle says something about how she still isn’t going to celebrate since it’s too early.  So, the final three are all girls!  It turns out we’ll have a Queen of the Nerds after all!  Girl power!  Of course, Genevieve takes the opportunity to give a girl power confessional about how female nerds should be proud people!!

“When I call myself a nerd, I do it in acceptance.” –Ivan

Then it’s time for the final phase of the final nerd war.  The challenge will be to answer questions on a whole scope of nerdy topics.   The board actually is set up a lot like the one on Jeopardy!  There are different categories with questions varying in difficulty.  Everyone will get to answer each question, which will be multiple choice, and each right answer is worth one point.

“There’s a fire burning inside me and it’s like *said under breath* “I need to win!!”” –Celeste

Danielle is the second one eliminated
from the finale and finishes in third place!

Celeste jumps off to a quick lead, answering the first four questions correctly, and notably looks like she is about to pass out.  Then, she starts struggling and Genevieve is able to catch up to her in points.  To make the final two, you must be one of the first two to score 5 points, and Genevieve and Celeste are tied with 4 points while Danielle trails with 3 points.  Then on the final question, about where Peter Parker works, everyone answers correctly, so Genevieve and Celeste become the final two, while Danielle places third!  Genevieve vs. Celeste: the ultimate showdown!  (And may I add that all of a sudden, picking a side in the Celeste/Genevieve conflict becomes important!)

 “Sorry I don’t know who created Pong.  Ask me the release date of Halo 4.”  “..November 6^th, 2012.” –Danielle

Then the hosts announce that while Danielle is out of the competition, she will not be going home just yet!  She will have a say in who will win along with all of the other banished nerds.  And with that, the banished nerds all return!  BRANDON!!! (Note: I squealed out of joy. #Handon)  All of them will be voting on who they want to win the competition!  So, a lot like on Beauty and the Geek (season 3)!  (OMG my show!) Hopefully here, Celeste will not tell the others to vote against her, like my precious Nate Dern, though! (Which is why I mention the whole Beauty and the Geek season 3 thing. #StillNotOverIt) 

Genevieve and Celeste become the
final two to battle it out for the title of
King of the Nerds!

Genevieve and Celeste get to spend time with everyone and plead their cases on why the others should vote for them.  Virgil is a bit torn since both were on Team Blextrophy with him.  Genevieve’s plan seems to be to state how she was the leader of Blextrophy and helped get herself and a teammate into the final two.  Also, she has the whole “I won three nerd offs” thing going for her.  Celeste’s plan seems to be to just be honest with everyone and tell/show them how much personal growth she has had throughout the competition.

The nerds seem to be split half and half on who they want to win.  Danielle is still sulking about getting third, which is understandable, so who knows how she will vote, let alone who she will vote for.  Then we’re given the comedy gold that goes by the name of Hendrik, a very early favorite of mine.  He wanders around outside in the middle of nowhere wearing a helmet.  He’s not taking the voting thing too seriously since he was, after all, the first one out of the competition.  I still wish he had made it further though!  I mean, DO YOU REMEMBER THE QUOTES THAT THIS GUY GAVE US?  And the chirping? #Handrik

Then, we’re given some fun bits.  We see part of Brandon’s hilarious drunken lesson, which you can watch in its entirety HERE.  Then we see a sword war and just a bunch of bits of everyone hanging out and enjoying their time with one another.  Moogega is siding with Genevieve, and seems to want to convince Danielle to vote that way as well, but Danielle doesn’t think that she could ever vote for Genevieve.  (Also, Alana may or may not have been shown using a coffee filter as a tissue?  I’m not sure.  I have convinced myself that I was probably just seeing things.)

Celeste and Genevieve both want the win very badly, and for a lot of reasons besides the $100,000 prize.  Only one will be able to win though!  I think that the vote will be split pretty evenly, and although I want Celeste to win, it almost seems like more people are siding with Genevieve because of all of her nerd off wins and the fact that she was Team Blextrophy’s leader.

I had to do this, because.. I just had to.

Both Genevieve and Celeste will be given the opportunity to have some final words with all of the banished nerds before they cast the deciding votes.  Genevieve is up first and said that entering the game, she had two goals:  to stay and to learn.  Then she goes all (BB14) Dan Gheesling on us and sucks up to a lot of the nerds individually saying how she learned more from them than she did from the challenges.  (Note: It wasn’t as annoying as Dan’s though, but maybe I am biased.)  (Another note:  My favorite part about this whole clip happened during the flashbacks of Genevieve’s time on King of the Nerds: “STUPID KEVIN SMITH!”)  She tells how she defeated others in things where she was the underdog and how she put her heart and soul into the game.  She took the responsibility of being a leader and believes that she would be a good ambassador for the competition/show.

Then, it’s Celeste’s turn and she seems nervous, as she always does with public speaking.  Then, in a confessional, we find out that she has her good luck shoes and will be doing this for all of her family and friends.  She tells how she never thought that she would be in the top two because she always compared herself to the others and didn’t think she was on the same level as everyone else.  She struggled with self-confidence throughout the competition, but fought and challenged herself.  Throughout the competition, she overcame a lot of personal battles and gained a lot of confidence from that.  With that confidence, she was able to make it far, and eventually to the final two.  She tells how she proud to be a nerd and how sometimes it is a struggle, but it’s worth it. 

All in all, I liked Celeste’s final speech a lot better than Genevieve’s.  Genevieve based her speech off of wins and other game-related things, whereas Celeste’s was more of a speech of personal growth.  Then, everyone is given their “tablets of power” and it’s time to cast the final votes that will determine who will be King (Queen?) of the Nerds!

Voting/Reasons:

For Celeste:

• Danielle:  She didn’t want to vote for either, because it should have been her.  Lawl. 

• Jon:  He saw the progress Celeste made throughout the competition and liked that she never gave up. 

• Brandon:  He said Celeste poured all of herself into the competition. 

• Alana:  She based if off a lot of different things, but also voted for Celeste because she had more personal growth throughout the competition. 

• Virgil:  He thinks that Genevieve is the quintessential nerd, but Celeste’s growth would have really inspired him when he was younger.

For Genevieve:

•  Hendrik:  He believe Genevieve worked harder for the win. 

• Ivan:  Genevieve won three nerd offs and has better earned the title. 

• Moogega:  She believes Genevieve better earned the title.

“Seriously?  It all comes down to Virgil?” –Celeste  (Well, technically, it could have came down to Joshua, but I guess we’ll never find out how he voted!)

So, Celeste wins and becomes King of the Nerds!!  She gets an awesome robe and crown!  Then, the moment that everyone has been waiting for:  She sits in the Throne of Games!  (Meanwhile, all of the other nerds bow to her, or something.) Ivan, in a confessional, delivers a bunch of inspiring quotes for nerds everywhere.

And just like that, Celeste becomes the first winner of 'King of the Nerds!'

Needless to say, I am so happy with this final result, since I have been full-fledged #TeamCeleste since Brandon’s exit early on.  And then I am even happier because it’s announced that there’s going to be a season 2!  (Note: Obviously I will be recapping season 2 as well!)

Are you satisfied with the results of tonight’s finale?  Tell me in the comments or tweet me at @AustHansWorld!  (Or, if you’re feeling wild and crazy, @theonlytrace!)

Hannah recaps episode #3 of 'Worst Cooks in America!'

We’re down to the final ten recruits on ‘Worst Cooks in America!’  The episode starts off at the contestants’ house where Michael and Aadip find a cooler.  They open it and find a note that leaves them thinking that their challenge will involve making ice cream.  It turns out that they will be making gelato for this first challenge. Carla informs us that she only knows about chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry ice cream.  On the other hand, Michael informs us that he gets sick if he eats ice cream.  He decides to try the ice cream anyway because he wants to do well in the competition and give it his all.  Bobby and Anne present them with some different samples of gelato and they must guess the flavor, where of course, no one guesses the correct flavor.  But, the flavors were weird things like green tea so  don’t blame them!  (Funny side note: Carla tried the green gelato that ended up being the green tea gelato, but her guess on the flavor was mocha!)

Anne teaching her red team

Then, we move on and Bobby and Anne teach them how to make gelato and waffle cones.   The recruits will be coming up with any flavor combination that they want to for this challenge.  Bobby and Anne will leave while the recruits make their gelatos and then the taste test will be a blind taste test, so they won’t know who made what until they reveal the scores.

Alex has decided to make a bacon and maple flavored gelato.  It turns out that a lot of the recruits are using bacon in their flavors.  It seems like if they don’t use bacon, they using some kind of salad as their inspiration, but all in all, everyone is coming up with pretty interesting combinations.  Rasheeda is making a lemon, lime, and orange gelato, which sounds pretty good to me, but I guess it actually tastes terrible.  During the whole challenge, Michael is really struggling and is sick from eating the gelato, like he knew he would be.  Since Sue is a mother, she pauses her work to help Michael so he would feel better, but she stepped away too long and her gelato mix turned into eggs, like Bobby and Anne warned against during their teaching.  Chet did a good job of not letting his turn into eggs.   During the challenge, Alex picks on Sue and the rest of the red team for being behind.

My favorites from the blue team, Alex and Chet, helping
one another out during the gelato challenge.

Aadip struggles at making his waffle cone.  His many attempts fail, so he’s running out of batter and just decides to go with the best one of his attempts.  The challenge ends and Chet feels very confident about how he did.  Michael thankfully did finish on time, but barely, and is just glad that this challenge is over.

Next, it’s time for the blind taste test.  From what is shown, it doesn’t seem like Anne and Bobby liked too many of the gelatos.  They said there were a lot of weird flavors and textures.  Then, they reveal the order from worst to best, and it was:  Sue (where she got too caught up in helping Michael), Michael, Carrie Lee, Rasheeda, Alex, Aadip, Alina, Chet, Crystal, and Carla.  Carla won the challenge, and overall, the blue team came out on top for the challenge!

For the main dish challenge, they will be making their own signature burgers.  Alex should do amazing with this challenge considering how much he loves burgers.  Chet feels good about the challenge as well.  Anne and Bobby teach their own teams a burger that they came up with.  Bobby says to not press burgers with the spatula because it takes all of the juices out of the burger.  Now they have to make their own signature burgers and cannot copy what Bobby and Anne showed them.  They also have to make a side dish to complement their burgers.  Like the dessert challenge, this will be a “blind” challenge, but what the cooks don’t know is that there are secret cameras and Bobby and Anne can watch.

Aadip doing his best attempt at grilled cheese!

The recruits then go to work on making their burgers and there is a lot of crazy stuff happening in the kitchen.  Aadip is making a grilled cheese which goes against the challenge, but what’s really hilarious about this is that he is just putting his slices of cheese straight onto the grill, which I am not a great cook but, I’m about 99% sure that’s not how you make grilled cheese.  Alina is putting cinnamon on her burger before cooking it.  That just sounds like a terrible idea.  Chet’s burger will be a mix of sweet and hot, just like him.  While chopping carrots for his burger, Michael almost chops a finger off!  Carrie Lee fell in the kitchen while working.  Aadip makes the mistake of not washing his hands while cooking and tasting his food, which contaminates his food.  Sue is making the mistake of smashing her burgers on the grill with her spatula, which means it will end up being very dry like they were warned against.  Ruh roh!

 

Then we start seeing some fires!  Alex is the first to catch his grill on fire and his fire gets pretty big.  For a moment, he even tried to put out his fire with more oil, which would have just made it worse.  Chet’s grill also catches on fire and the look of horror on his face is priceless.  We find out that Chet is afraid of fire, so watching him try to put out the fire is actually hilarious.  Before you know, the whole kitchen is full of fires and smoke! 

Then, the challenge is almost over and Rasheeda remembers that she forgot to make a side dish, so she just throws some chips on her plate as her side.  Carrie Lee’s burger looks burnt beyond recognition.  Overall, it doesn’t seem like anyone really did that great, so it’s hard to tell who will go home on this episode.

Love is still in the air for Carla and Bobby!

It’s time for the taste test and the blue team is up first.  Bobby liked Carla’s burger and she is so happy about that, and the Bobby and Carla love saga continues.  “Help me!” –Bobby;  Bobby then tastes Alina’s cinnamon burger and is apprehensive about it, but said it actually tasted pretty good.  Bobby gave Chet’s burger a great review.  Alex informs Bobby that he made a “burgdog” and it’s called that because “it bites you back.”  Bobby said that Alex’s burger was too much and the flavors started to become muddled.  Alex, as always, tries to defend against his mistakes and for that, Bobby thinks that Alex may be too hard to teach because he does too much defending of the mistakes that he makes.

Then, it’s time for the red team’s taste test.  Anne says that Crystal’s turkey burger was not the best she’s ever had, but it also wasn’t the worst she’s ever had.  Rasheeda gets in trouble for basically making what Anne showed them before the challenge, but says that Rasheeda did a pretty good job with it.  Aadip made a triple grilled cheese, but Anne doesn’t taste it since it got contaminated.  She also gets onto Aadip because he didn’t follow the rules of the challenge and even told him there were many different vegetarian options for this challenge.  Sue overcooked her burger and it was too dry.  Michael did pretty well though, but got in trouble for his cutting skills.

Overall, it seems like Bobby’s team did a lot better overall than Anne’s team, but it’s hard to tell who will go home.

Primetime 99 Alex Stein is no longer on the grind for Worst
Cooks and is the fifth eliminated from the competition! :(

It’s now time for the results of the challenge.  The most successful of the red team was Michael.  Anne tells him thought that raw vegetables aren’t the best to put on a burger though, and Bobby laughs and says “that’s the best of your team?”  He acts pretty happy because he knows his team did better overall.  I’m still happy with Michael being the most successful though!  The most successful of the blue team was Chet!  My favorites are rocking it on this challenge!  Then, we find out that the bottom two of the blue team are Alex and Carrie Lee.  Oh no, not Alex!  The bottom two of the red team are Sue and Aadip.  Oh no, not Aadip!  (Side note:  My favorites are Michael, Chet, Alex, and Aadip.)  Before Bobby announcing who he’ll be sending home from his team, Alex and Carrie Lee battle it out some.  Carrie Lee says that she listens to his teaching and that Alex doesn’t.  Alex says that he has a bigger love for food because he eats more of it.  Ha!  Bobby sends home Alex though!!  Then Anne tells Aadip that he is the one that she is sending home from her team.  This is so depressing!  Two of my favorites are out on the same episode.  I  QUIT!  (Just kidding)  But until next week!

The always hilarious Aadip becomes the sixth person
eliminated from Worst Cooks!

Some memorable quotes from the episode:

“Who likes ice cream more than Primetime 99 Alex Stein?  Nobody.” –Alex 

“I hope it’s like making a waffle!  Oh wait.  I’ve never really made waffles either…” –Michael, on making waffle cones 

“I taste Bobby’s ice cream and it’s DE-LICIOUS and I fall in love all over again.” –Carla 

“I scream. You scream.  Red team’s going down!” –Blue team 

“The meat grinder looks like a medieval torture device.” –Aadip 

“I was trying to grill it so it had a nice sear to it.” –Aadip 

“I just peed my pants.  Chef Anne is going to pee all over me.” –Aadip (I am pretty sure this was actually said???) 

“Hey, I have all of my fingers, it’s not that bad.” –Michael, on his cutting skills 

If you dance around fire, you’re bound to get burned.”  -Alex

Some great tweets from the cast during the episode:

And like that, we're down to the final 8!

‘Worst Cooks’ airs at 9 pm on Sundays on the Food Network channel!

Hannah recaps episode #7 of 'King of the Nerds!'

Time for another episode of one of my most favorite reality television shows of the now, King of the Nerds!  Going into this week’s episode, it’s down to the final five nerds.  There will be no more teams and it will be an individual fight to the end.  One thing that I just now realized is how much the intro of this show, with each cast member having a different comic book character, reminds me of the show ‘Who Wants to be a Superhero?’!  If you haven’t seen that show, you really must find a way to do so!  It was amazing and also along the same nerdy lines that ‘King of the Nerds’ is!

Genevieve feels as though she barely won the last nerd off, and even says that she has blisters on the bottoms of her toes from that dance challenge nerd off.  In case you hadn’t realized it before, Ivan is the only male nerd left in the competition.  He wishes that Virgil were still around!  Then a small battle breaks out because the remaining “blue team” members want to move into the orange room where the remaining “orange team” members sleep, just so that the house is more unified and they don’t miss as much.  Danielle is not having it though because she is not a fan of Genevieve.

“You’re NOT the Little Mermaid!  You are 28 years old!  Grow up!” -Danielle

We are now introduced to the individual nerd war.  The premise of this nerd war is that things will be dropped (either weighted balls or weighted stuffed pigs) from different heights over pieces of glass with unified thickness and unified space between them.  The nerds will be given time and the conditions to figure out how many panes of glass they believe will be broken when different objects are dropped from different heights.  Moogega works for NASA and math and physics is one of her strong suits.  She feels pretty confident about her chances in this nerd war and has the information that she’ll need for this challenge all inside of her head. 

Then we get to see all five of the nerds work, mostly as individuals, to come up with their solutions.  A lot of them seem to be using different techniques to solve the problem.   Moogega is excited to solve all of the problems and looks at it as a game.  (Side note:  In my Abstract Algebra class last semester, my Turkish professor told us to treat everything like a game and we’d find it much more enjoyable and easier, but like, it didn’t work, so it must be some special power!)  Danielle, on the other hand, is out of her comfort zone.  She never was required to take physics because her studies were Vet studies and “we don’t care about how fast a cat moves!”  Ivan has also never had physics before, but has done a lot of logic problems, which are somewhat similar.

Celeste and Genevieve decide to pair up and work together some to improve their chances of winning.  They both want Danielle out of the competition and are trying to work together to accomplish that.  Danielle is using Google for help, but mostly all that she can find are problems about things being dropped onto glass regarding 9/11 conspiracy theories.  Everyone is going to sleep, but Danielle is not going to sleep until she starts to figure it all out and come up with her answers.  The show is not giving Danielle a very nice edit on this episode, which is really not anything new.

Time for the nerd war!  #TeamMoogega #TeamCeleste

Before each of the two tests and bonus test are done,  the nerds will be given time to write their answers for how many panes of glass they think will be broken.  For a correct answer, they will gain a point, and for every pane of glass that they are incorrect, they will lose a point.  Obviously, the person with the most points at the end of the challenge will win.

In the first test, five sheets of glass are broken.  Danielle and Ivan had guessed properly and have scores of 1.  Genevieve and Celeste had guessed 4, so they have scores of -1.  Moogega guessed only 3, so her score is -2.   In the second test, two sheets of glass are broken.   Danielle and Moogega guessed correctly.  That ups Danielle’s score to 2 and Moogega’s score to -1.  Ivan, Genevieve, and Celeste were all off by 1 sheet of glass.  Ivan’s score goes to 0, while the other two have scores of -2.  On the last test, the bonus test, a fifteen pound stuffed pig will be dropped and the correct answer will be worth 2 points so comebacks are possible.  I am not sure of the exact guesses, but only five sheets of glass were broken, and Danielle is the only one left with a positive score, so she is the winner of the first individual nerd war.  This is obviously a huge win for Danielle because of the competition she was against and her lack of knowledge in the area of physics.  Ivan acted like a sore sport at one point in the competition because Danielle had used Google and conspiracy theories to help her answer the questions and he felt that she was just getting the answers by correctly guessing.  In this situation, I say do whatever works!  Danielle claims that staying up later and studying helped her out.  She also thanks conspiracy theorists and “high schoolers who do physics on my little pony!”  Everyone else is pretty unhappy because they were all wanting to send Danielle into the nerd off, where she would hopefully go home.

As the winner of the challenge, Danielle will get a fancy meal cooked for her.  She gets to pick someone to share the reward with her and she chooses Moogega.  Why?  Because she (Danielle) is a nice person and just beat her at what she’s best at.  At least this is the reasoning that she gave.  Also, for the nerd off, the four (excluding Danielle) will get to vote together to send someone in.  As the challenge winner, Danielle will get to pick the other person to go into the nerd off all on her own.

Moogega believes that since the nerd war was physics related, like past episodes, the nerd off will be physics related in some way.  She is offering to go into the nerd off, which is a stupid move, in my opinion.  You should never willingly offer yourself to go on the chopping block in any kind of competition!  Especially when it’s down to the final five!  She wants to redeem herself, though, for not winning the nerd war that was built for her.

Then Danielle and Moogega get their fancy dinner cooked by Richard Blais.  He uses a lot of science and chemistry when cooking his food so that it is like no other!  The presentation of this food is really stellar and amazing to watch!  There is a lot of smoke, which must be some fancy gas, and it’s just awesome!  He uses nitrogen and smoke to make the ice cream even.

“He’s like a food magician.  A foodgician, if you will.” –Danielle

Danielle seems torn between sending either Ivan or Genevieve into the nerd off against Moogega.  It seems though that Danielle is learning towards sending Genevieve in.  My assumptions are because she doesn’t personally like Genevieve and also Genevieve has won two previous nerd offs and is a huge threat in the endgame.  Celeste doesn’t think that there is a target on her back, but goes to talk to Danielle anyway.  She basically just sits, nods, and agrees with everything that Danielle says in order to make Danielle feel better about her decision and to keep from choosing Celeste.  Danielle basically tells Celeste that she has nothing to worry about and that she’ll tell whoever she’s sending into the nerd off, before the announcement is made so they aren’t surprised by it.

Later, Danielle goes to pull Genevieve and Ivan over to talk to them.  As she does this, she passes the Throne of Games and she has a revelation of sorts.  It’s not a throne of comic books, or a throne of nerd knowledge, or math, etc.  It’s the Throne of Games, and the two gamers that have been there since the beginning of the game are herself and Celeste.  It seems like she may send Celeste into the nerd off.  (Note: NO!!  Celeste and Moogega are my two favorites!  I am so torn!  Why can’t you just send Genevieve into the nerd off and make me happy?!)  Danielle is leaning towards sending Celeste into the nerd off because she thinks the challenge at the end will involve games and in that case, her and Celeste would have a lot of the same skill set and it would be tough to beat Celeste.  Also, Celeste has never been into a nerd off, whereas Genevieve and Ivan both have been in one or more.  Oh wait.  I wasn’t aware that King of the Nerds was a competition of fairness where we send people into nerds off just because they never have been before!

While talking with Genevieve and Ivan, they both convince Danielle that it’s a good idea to send Celeste into the nerd off.  At this point in the show, it feels A LOT like Big Brother (notably season 14) to me!  Moogega is obviously not around because it’s already been decided that she will be going into the nerd off.  But Celeste, one of the three on the chopping block is not around, so the other two scheme with the person in charge and the whole tables are turning!

The next morning, Celeste wakes up to a note that tells her that she will be the one sent into the nerd off by Danielle and is shocked by this.  Danielle had previously told her that she was safe from the nerd off.  Celeste believes that Genevieve has thrown her under the bus, rightfully so, and then decides that two can play this game!  She goes to Danielle and is attempting to throw Genevieve under the bus to save herself.  She tells Danielle that the only reason that they won the team challenges that they did was because of Genevieve and all these other reasons why Genevieve is such a huge threat in the game.  Danielle seems pretty easily swayed and reverts to talking about how she originally wanted to send Genevieve into the nerd off, and Danielle further works off of this information.

The friendship between Celeste and Genevieve may officially
be over until the end of the game!  Are you #TeamCeleste
or #TeamGenevieve?

This, to me, is when this show has become really fun!  I love all of the drama, switching, and backstabbing that is happening.  Everyone seems to be playing hard, besides maybe Moogega.  This part of the show really does have a Big Brother feel to it, except that the two people on the block have to battle to see who leaves instead of it being based solely off of a vote.  It ends up that Moogega is unanimously voted into the nerd off, meaning that even she voted for herself.  And Danielle has voted to send… GENEVIEVE into the nerd off!  I was not expecting that!  Celeste was not expecting that!  Genevieve especially was not expecting that!   Danielle apologized right before voting for not telling the person that she was sending them in, because it was such a late decision.  I personally hope that Genevieve leaves because she’s the only one left that I would be unhappy with winning.  #TeamMoogega!  (But I am a curse, so she will probably leave.)

This is Genevieve’s third time going into a nerd off and she is very upset about it.  She hates that she has been labeled as such a threat.  She feels like Celeste underplays her intelligence to keep the target off of herself, but why wouldn’t you?  Obviously these people have their own strengths and are intelligent people, so why not be intelligent enough to underplay your intelligence so people don’t target you?  Danielle felt that Genevieve was manipulating her into sending Celeste into the nerd off, which is why she changed her mind back to what she originally wanted to do.

This week’s nerd off is about building the tallest standing structure out of an assortment of unconventional nerdy items.  They practice some, but it’s to the nerd off pretty quickly.  To give a picture of some of the things in the assortment: there were Nintendo 64 game cartridges, rubix cubes, paperback books, rules, etc.  The challenge is to have your structure reach 10 feet, and the first to do so will win.  The challenge will only last ten minutes though, so if 10 feet is not reached in that time, the one with the highest tower at the end will win.  Moogega and Genevieve have also been given nerf guns to shoot at one another’s towers in attempts of knocking them down.

Both of them are hitting marks at the same time and they both seem pretty confident about their chances.  Genevieve’s tower falls pretty early on and she has to start a new strategy.  Moogega’s strategy also seems a bit shaky because she has one rubix cube somewhere in the middle of her structure holding up a bunch of things all on its own.  Genevieve then realizes that she can’t win by just stacking things and must come up with a more creative approach.  Genevieve is ahead at this point and has almost reached the 10 foot mark.  At that point, Moogega attempted to shoot down the tower, but to no avail, so she turned around to keep working on her tower and at that same time, the tower fell.  Moogega has little time to start rebuilding, but uses an approach that is catching her up quick to Genevieve!  Genevieve takes some stuff down to try another approach and when the ten minutes ends, the two towers are not that different in height.  But Genevieve’s tower is still taller and she wins!  I told you I am a curse!  I really thought Moogega had an awesome shot at winning!  Now, everyone is even more scared by Genevieve and see her as an even bigger threat, as they should.

The episode ends with Danielle saying she thinks she could have “raped this challenge,” but you know everything is easier said than done!  I am sad that Moogega went out on the episode that was built towards her strengths, but if we have seen one popular trend on this show, it’s that nerds usually go home on episodes that are geared towards their strengths.

Next week is the finale and it’s down to the final four.  Celeste, Ivan, Genevieve, and Danielle!  Who do you think will win it all?  Tell me on Twitter @theonlytrace or @AustHansWorld or in the comment section below!  (Side note: WHATEVER will we do with our lives after the finale ends next week?  Answer: Hope and pray for a season two to already be in the works!)  (Another side note:  I am #TeamCeleste!)

The remaining four nerds on the King of the Nerds! (From left to right, in
color, they are:  Ivan, Danielle, Celeste, and Genevieve!)

King of the Nerds airs Thursdays at 10 pm on TBS!